My tumor has a tail!

I logged on to my Southwest Medical file today to see how far booked my general doctor is (for asthma and dermatitis) and notice I have a new piece of paper in my medical record. It’s the results from my MRI findings. I click on it and discover. MY TUMOR HAS A TAIL! I didn’t realize tumors could get tails, but mine does. To give you an example of what I’m trying to decipher, this is my medical findings:

At the 4 o clock position anteriorly in the left breast there is a 2.6 x 2.2 x 3.3 cm (1.02in x .86in x 1.29in) lobulated mass. Multi-nodular stranding to the nipple present. There is posterior stranding also present creating a tail that extends posteriorly over a length of approx. 2CM (1.2in) with a total length of the mass from tumor to tail posteriorly of approximately 5cm (1.96in). Medial to the primary tumor in the central inferior retoareolar aspect of the left breast are several nodular enhancing elements, the largest with a length of approximately 16mm (.62 in). There are also some linear and nodular strand like areas of enhancement in the left breast at the 8 to 9 position. No mass or suspicious enhancement in the right breast. Several nonspecific auxiliary lymph nodes bilaterally more so on the left. Most prominent lymph node left extra region with a short axis dimension of 11mm (.43 in).

Impression:

1.       The bulk of the previously biopsied left breast cancer is at the 4clock position with a maximum dimension of 3.3CM (1.29in) however there is stranding anteriorly to the nipple and a posterior tail that extends over 5cm (1.96in). Multifocal nodular areas of enhancement also present medial to the tumor in the left lower inner quadrant suspicious for multiple foci of tumor. BI-RADS 6.

2.       Prominent left auxiliary lymph nodes, suspicious.

3.       No suspicious lesions detected in the right breast.

So what does this all mean? Well let me retype it with all the stuff I researched from google. Now, don’t hold me to this because the internet is the internet but….

At the 4 o clock position (look at your nipple like a clock in the mirror) in the front of the left breast near the surface is a tumor a little over 1 ¼ in by 1in. The tumor has changed the tissue around it, almost like creating roots of a tree. It’s starting to infect the surrounding tissue in “stands”. The strands are starting to create “nodules” or baby tumors. The largest of these strands is 1.96inches and the largest  of these baby tumors is .62 inches. The largest baby tumor is behind the nipple way beneath the surface where I can’t feel it (central inferior retoareolar). There is more stranding to the 8 and 9 oclock positions. There are several lymphnodes in my arm pit (auxiliary means armpit) that they looked at and the most prominent one was .43 in wide (side note: most lymph nodes are ¼ of an inch to ¾ inch) so while it falls in normal range, it’s still swollen compared to the other lymph nodes around it.

….so moral of the story is, I guess it’s a good thing I’m having the bi-lateral. It sounds like the tumor has gone from just being a small tumor to stranding off and trying to create baby tumors all over my breast tissue so I’m not sure saving my breast would have been an option even if I wanted it.

Screw You, Good Luck!

I hate when you tell people you have cancer, and they reply with "Good Luck". "Oh Candice, I'm so sorry to hear you have breast cancer, but...good luck with all that.". This peeves me. I mean good luck is what you say to someone that has a chance of losing. Like when you play a game, you tell someone good luck. When you're at the blackjack tables, you tell the person next to you good luck...as if you're hoping luck is on their side because they're going to need it. It's as if the person telling me good luck thinks I need it. Like they know it's a losing battle but they're hoping luck is on my side. Well ya know what? Screw you luck! Luck is what got me here in the first place. Do you know what the odds are of someone in their 20's testing positive for breast cancer? Less than 2%. Add that to how rare it is for someone with absolutely no family history and it's just a giant stroke of bad luck that I have this horrible thing. That's what my surgeon said. He said he can't really explain why I have it, no family history, well under the age of 40...it's just a giant stroke of bad luck. So ya know what? I've have enough of this whole luck stuff. Luck has NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
ANYWAYS. Today was just kinda meh. I really have nothing particularly interesting to say other than I'm trying to get in the habit of blogging every night so here I am telling you about my day. Here's one of the small things that make my day. I got to wear jeans to work. Yay me. Why? Well because coincidentally, my work is doing a breast cancer fundraiser that they do every year called "Making Strides Against Breast Cancer" which basically consists of raising cash and then all joining together to walk a 5K. If you pay $5 toward the fundraiser per week, you get to wear jeans for the whole week. I wanted to build a case that I think I'm already giving enough to the damn disease so I should get to wear jeans permanently, but instead I shoved $5 in front of my boss. Maybe I'm PMSing because reading back over this thing, I'm seeming a little angry.

Grandma, Grandpa, Me, West & Jeff

After work, we met with my grandparents (dads side) for dinner and games. When I say we, I mean my brother Jeff and West. Jeff almost didn't make it, as a bad day at work made him want to drown his anger at his less than competent 22-year-old-girl-who's-never-had-a-job-and-only-wants-to-talk-on-her-cell-phone boss in a bottle of 151. We caught up on the weeks events, talked about how I really had no news on my cancer situation and how I looked forward to finally getting a surgery date. Then we played dominoes (in a game called Mexican Train that somehow ended up with West winning right as we decided to call it a night) topped off with some yummy banana cream pie. I posted a picture of the group but it wasn't from this dinner. This a pic from the last time we met and went to Red Lobster. Oh how I love seafood. Want to make a cancer patient love you forever? Buy her Red Lobster gift cards.
When we got home I caught up with Evan and his day. No matter how many times I told the guy NOT TO DROP A CLASS BEFORE YOU PICK UP A NEW ONE...he did it accidentally and now he's screwed himself out of a 4th class...but it might be enough credits still not to make a major dent in his financial aid which is cool. He seems to like his screenwriting class and his video class was hands on. I'm glad he's liking school because it gets all of that energy he has at home focused on something he's passionate about.
Oh which brings me to why I'm on the computer at midnight. I sat down to take what I thought was going to be an easy first week Philosophy "Quiz" and decided I'd read the few pages I needed for the module and take the quick quiz. Boy, was I wrong. The "few pages' ended up being a chapter due consisting of 57 pages of text and a quiz contained 30 questions all about different kind of arguments and premises. Jesus! Are you kidding me?? I tried to take the exam open book and got a whopping 40%. Good thing I get another opportunity to take it because I was sooo not prepared for that.
I got an email from someone who read this blog and asked me what my MRI and biopsy was like. I told her I would post something describing my experience so I'll probably do that tomorrow. Ok. 12:08. I'm off to bed.